an open letter from my stream of consciousness to yours

I am listening to the sound of my toddler’s voice in the other room, neighing as though she were a horse. It reminds me of her excitement last night, after a “this little piggy” session, when she ran to her father’s toes and started squealing, “weee wee wee wee!”

She so wants to share her joy when she is in it.

I just finished a meditation. I don’t meditate like the books tell you to, I listen. I listen for voices of kindness and reason and love to come through and comfort me. To remind me why I’m here. To encourage me. To guide me away from the distractions and toward my values.

The internet is a broad distraction. It can also be a source of connection. It just depends on how you use it. I came across the Scientific American article about this year’s Nobel Prize winners the other day. It sent me down a rabbit hole of research, trying to understand the implications of quantum entanglement. This nod from the scientific community will change the way we look at the world. But it also validates the way many people already saw the world before we started creating all these rules and laws around what should and shouldn’t be. Of course, rules have a place. Guidelines have a place. They can create connection. They can also distract us from seeing more.

I am shedding my skin again. I am learning to share my joy when I am in it. I am learning to see myself as a person who matters, period. Without context. Without credentials. It is a new way of seeing, but also a return maybe to the way humans were once taught to see themselves. If it’s true that everything comes full circle, it feels like we are living through the tail’s end.

If perspective is reality, like quantum entanglement suggests, then I’d like to shift my perspective in regard to my relationship wih the internet. I’d like to use it as a source for connection instead of distraction. I might go through and delete some accounts that I follow, who sensationalize aspects of our culture that operate in a bubble—celebrity scandal, etc. That’s not my world. It’s not even a world I value. Why should my psyche spend time there? I’d like to find the spaces that build connection. A smaller eco-system that supports itself and each other. It feels like it’s time to live fully inline with my values now that I don’t have time for anything else.

I’d like to use this platform to connect with you again. To share my thoughts, my process, without strings. Take this letter as an invitation to join this space, but only if it feeds you. Only if you feel at home here. Only if you treat it with the love and respect you would one of your safest spaces. I’d like to find my people again, and that might be you. Together, maybe we can reflect on this human experience with curiosity and tenderness and, of course, joy. I hope you’ll join me on this journey.