Set Your Comfort Zones on Fire

Have you ever found yourself craving an experience, but just before you give yourself the opportunity to explore it, you find some reason why you can't, shouldn't, or don't have time to do it?

You might be stuck in a comfort zone.

Comfort zones are shady. They creep up on you, suck you in, and get inside your head. They're like the overbearing mother figure who's got you locked in an attic "for your own safety." I'm doing this because I love you!, it shouts. No, it's doing this because it's lost its mind. And you're allowing it to because, even though the attic door is unlocked, you've got Stockholm syndrome. Sometimes I catch myself mid-comfort zone. Most of the time I don't. And for a long time, I didn't care much about comfort zones. I've always been a risk taker, so I never thought they had that much control over me. Not to mention, I've always hated that phrase, "do something every day that scares you." I mean, I know it's not intended to be, but it's so dramatic. Like, thanks, but no? That sounds terrible? So I've silently rebelled against that stupid phrase by ignoring it. And then this week I had a revelation of sorts. I guess I've been catching myself moving OUT of my comfort zones more than usual over the past few months. It hasn't really been on purpose, it's just the natural evolution of pursuing a new goal or exploring a new experience — but I've started to notice myself in the midst of these uncomfortable new moments (this self-awareness practice is really paying off) and it has brought a few things to light. Namely, that I have more comfort zones than I thought I did. (oops). But, more importantly, and as much as it pains me to say it, that whole "do something that scares you" thing isn't the worst idea. But it is still the worst phrase! So I'm reinventing it:

Whenever you can, set your comfort zones on fire.

What can I say, I like arson. 🔥 Actually, I'm drawn to my phrase because it's more active. When you're "doing something scary," you're relying on something outside of yourself to scare you. I don't like giving the world that much power over me. I want control over my own security. Instead of putting myself in a position of fear, I want to put myself in a position of confidence. I want to actively choose to move outside of a comfort zone—on the one hand to simply allow myself to feel what it's like to be in a new experience, but on the other to breathe confidence into my body as I notice myself needing it. Traveling gives us all a great opportunity to do this. For the better part of a week, I've been trekking through Atlanta, Georgia. It's a city I've never been—and one that, frankly, I've never formed an opinion on. I came here with a blank slate. There's something beautiful about entering a place with zero expectations, but it's as far away from a conventional "comfort zone" as you can possibly travel. And that can be disorienting. For the first 24 hours of my visit, I was in total "this is not my comfort zone" mode. Even with Jaren as a tour guide (and damn, he's a good guide), I noticed myself feeling more quiet, observant, and distracted than usual. There was a time I may not have even caught myself in this space. I would have chalked it up to taking in all the sights or getting a lay of the land—and that's part of it. But this time around, I took a second to step back and EXAMINE where my head was at.

Was my need to go inward to absorb my new surroundings getting in the way of a good time?

Almost instantly, as I called myself out for getting a little too heady, I felt the relief that's always accompanied by detecting an emotional need. I was just feeling a little insecure! I was in a new place — one that I had done zero research into — and when I don't feel totally in control, my confidence wanes. So I took a few seconds to focus on some self-talk. "You have control over your sense of self." "Your comfort zones don't define you." "You are powerful, you are strong, you are confident, no matter your surroundings." "Breathe that confidence in, let it fill you up." "Set those comfort zones on fire." "Light 'em up, burn 'em down."

Your confidence is more powerful than any comfort zone. Let it light you up. Let it burn 'em down.

Next time you find yourself in a new or uncomfortable position, don't focus on the part that scares you, focus on the part that gives you power.

PS. Visit Atlanta. The street art, the seafood, the parks! It's a good time.