The Real Reason I Love Taking Risks
roninrisks
Hello, sunshines! Thanks for putting up with my hiatus (just gettin' married and stuff NBD). I'm so glad to be back—and since I've come back I've been thinking a LOT about risk. So LET'S TALK ABOUT IT. I used to see articles titled, "why you should take more risks!" and "if you're not taking at least one risk every day, you're a loser!" and "10 ways to take more risks!" and give them a big ol' EYE ROLL. As if I needed one more thing to think about every day. As if life wasn't challenging enough. As if I had the time. And then I went on my honeymoon. And things got a little weird. And I realized that risks are actually kind of an important ingredient to "happiness." One of my favorite parts of the whole honeymoon was feeling like I was out of my comfort zone every. single. day. And by "favorite" I mean "most peculiar" and "slightly frustrating." Here's why: I was born in Singapore and lived in Tokyo until I was just about 7 years old — from there I moved to Portland, Oregon, and after that I continued to bounce around a little bit until finally landing in Los Angeles. So, I am not unfamiliar with radical change. AND YET! There I was on my honeymoon, on the other side of the world, feeling tenuous about whether or not I'd turn a corner and find myself in a great situation or a horrible one. To say that I was frustrated by this sudden discomfort with something that I'd experienced so many times before is an understatement. I guess I could blame it on political unrest or lack of American sympathy or whatever, but if I have to put my finger on why something so familiar suddenly felt so UNfamiliar, I'd have to admit that it's because I'd forgotten the thrill of getting out of my comfort zone. i.e. I had stopped consciously taking risks. As I began to recognize this, I decided to first go easy on myself (feeling disappointed in myself wasn't going to do much good) and then embrace each uncomfortable moment as a personal challenge. Before I knew it, I was high on the feeling. Every single day was an unknown. Would we walk into a restaurant where everyone gave us the stink eye? Maybe (yes, at least once). Would we get ourselves into a bind where knowing the native language a little better would have been key? Yep. Would we feel vulnerable? Uh huh. Would we feel accepted and welcomed and embraced? That too! We felt ALL the things. But the most exciting part of feeling all the things was NOT BEING ABLE TO PREDICT how we'd feel by the end of the day at the start of each day! By the time I came back to the States, I was restless. I felt like something was missing.
IT WAS RISK.
When you stop consciously taking risks, however small, you eliminate so many opportunities for happiness—like the feeling you get when you pay a stranger a compliment or when something unexpected goes surprisingly well. So, upon my return, I vowed to take more conscious risks. It's like catching Pokemon! Except, instead of make-believe anime characters I'd be catching real feelings of joy. (to each their own, you know?)
I'm interested in all the risks!
I've been choosing simple risks like taking my dog to the beach more (which gives me anxiety because he's got a 50/50 shot of actually listening to me and making me look like a dog-owning saint or just running around like a maniac and making me look like the worst dog owner ever) or talking to a neighbor I've never met. And bigger risks, like getting the tattoo I've been dreaming about for so long or, oh, I don't know, deciding to FOLLOW MY HEART on my career path instead of bouncing from one gig to the next because it's way easier and takes less conscious thought. Even though all of these risks create varied levels of discomfort—by definition a risk is when you're putting yourself in a position where the outcome MIGHT not work out for you—I've discovered they not only bring on that temporary joyful high, but they also strengthen your character in ways that are truly hard to describe. It's like you're strengthening a muscle. When you practice little risks, you build up your courage, your resolve, and your ability to take a couple of awkward hits along the way. Are there tiny risks you could take now and then that would help you strengthen your courage? What's something you could do where the outcome would be entirely unknown? Maybe it's asking for something you don't think you could get. Maybe it's negotiating something. Maybe it's putting yourself out there and telling someone about a secret goal you have. Maybe it's doing that workout you keep saying you'll do but won't for fear of sucking at it. Maybe it's joining that 50/50 NFL pool when you know nothing about football (no? just me? okay). Whatever it is, give yourself the opportunity to feel uncomfortable. I promise it's as rewarding as it is terrifying.