Perception Is Reality: Choose Your Perspective Wisely in 2018
Perception is Reality The Heart of Happy
I took this photo at a family reunion in 2017. We were staying at a large vacation house in the middle of the country, Oklahoma—a central meeting point for all of our extended loved ones—overlooking a gorgeous little lake in a tiny town I honestly can't even remember the name of. As someone who has lived exclusively in "blue" regions my entire life, I'm most comfortable, I guess, in places that I assume are also blue. Like any person—or living thing, really—when I'm outside of my comfort zone, I am on full alert. I make assumptions that things are going to feel different, that I should be more "careful," or that I'm going to be made to feel like an outsider. But this house surprised me. The decor wasn't political at all. If anything, it was a little bit mystical. It celebrated nature—and I felt like I could relate to that. When I saw this dragon, it took me so by surprise that I laughed out loud. It reminded me of something I would have come across in my childhood living in Asia, not in the middle of Oklahoma! But that's not really fair, is it? Because why shouldn't this be in Oklahoma? Why should it be anywhere?! This little guy shifted my perspective. And the beautiful coincidence is that this sculpture is MEANT to play with your perspective. "Is it one solid piece moving through the ground? Or is it a collection of pieces perfectly placed upon the lawn?" There's a little bit of magic here.
This is not a post about red vs. blue states.
But it IS a post about perception.
As it turns out, we are so much more complex than the labels we put on ourselves. "Red" and "blue" are simply examples that most Americans who lived through 2017 can probably relate to. Though we've been pitted against each other to believe otherwise, the truth remains that there are always little speckles of blue in red, and red in blue. We should not feel that we have to be defined by these labels. The labels, themselves, are distracting. The VALUES we each care about as individuals are the only things we need to discuss, debate, etc. The minute we start lumping those values into labels, we've muddied the waters and gone off course.
Now - think about how you label yourself:
Mother. Sister. Daughter. Child. Friend. Parent. Brother. Father. Spouse. Husband. Employee. Client. Customer. Boss. Wife. Acquaintance. In-law. Nice. Mean. Stubborn. Cruel. Kind. Happy. Sad. Skinny. Fat. Disgruntled. Easy going. Lazy. Busy. Energetic. Free-spirited. Type-A. Good. Bad. Driven. Anxious. Nurse. Doctor. Writer. Pilot. Athlete. Entrepreneur. Investor. Janitor. Teacher. Sidekick. Hero. Firefighter. Officer. Civilian. Male. Female. Man. Woman. All of these words are labels. Some of them might empower you. Some may weigh you down. Some do both at the same time! Take "mother," for example. Ask any new mother and she will tell you that when she entered motherhood, one of the most freely given pieces of advice she heard was, "get ready to be judged." I mean. Just for carrying the label, "mother!?" Good grief that's a lot of pressure. But there's also a lot of pride that comes from being a mother! And there's so much complexity within that label: from the different ways mothers deliver, feed, and even sleep. My point is: labels are a lot more complicated than we give them credit. And yet we judge them so effortlessly, as though a single word is enough to sum up EVERY HUMAN who is in some way touched by or associated with the word. Even the labels we CHOOSE for OURSELVES can confuse us. Once upon a time, when I'd make up resolutions for a new year, I'd use labels like "rich" or "writer" or "confident" or "free-spirited" or "healthy" or "120lbs," hahah. Little did I know, I was already cutting myself off at the knees. Those words are far too general to ever fully realize. Even the concept of a 'target weight' is ridiculous: that number on one person is VERY different on another. Numbers are labels, too. So when I used these labels, I got nowhere. And it was frustrating. Especially because by someone else's standards, I may have already achieved them! So I started playing with looking at myself outside of the labels, and instead completing the phrase "I am..." with "okay" and "I desire..." with "abundance."
I call this "un-boxing" yourself.
Because what was it that I REALLY wanted for myself? I was looking for a FEELING, not a label. In wanting to be "rich," I was really just wanting to not worry about money! I was wanting to FEEL abundant in mind, body, spirit—and in the material world. The true, deep desire was to know that "I am okay" no matter what. Peeling the "labels" off of yourself is the most FREEING feeling. If seeing yourself as a "mother" or "daughter" or "friend" or "husband" is putting too much pressure on you—if you feel like you can't live up to everything that the label embodies, LET IT GO. Re-frame who you are with a simple, "I am... okay!" Because that's all that matters! That's what brings you back to who you REALLY are on the most all-encompassing, indescribable level. And you are indescribable. This year, my goals are feeling-based instead of label-based.
Think about this as you frame your desires for 2018.
It's okay to have tangible goals that you want to reach, of course. You can set milestones for yourself—but know that those milestones are really just there to help you visualize the feeling you'll have when you reach them. Because it's the feeling you're chasing, right? I want to feel abundant. I want to feel vibrant. I want to feel focused. And here's the kicker: these feeling are attainable. I can start working on feeling them now. And you know what's going to happen when I align myself with those feelings? Good things. Things that help make those feelings even stronger and more accessible. Some of those things I'll create for myself through action — because I'm chasing the feeling and want more of it. And some of those things will manifest for me because I believe the universe wants to feed me more of the vibrations I create for myself. And you know what will happen if I face adversity? I'll go right back to the beginning and remind myself that "I am okay." And if I don't feel okay, I'll seek help from those who can remind me about all of the ways in which I am.
So I'll leave you with this:
You are not a label. You are beyond a label. And above all, you are okay.
I hope your 2018 proves to be as indescribably wonderful as you are.