So you need some inspiration…

…You’ve come to the right place.

make your gratitude calendar sing

Here are some of the common issues folks have voiced. If something else is troubling you with your practice, please reach out and let me know! We can get you over the hump together!

“I’m feeling stuck”

When you’re new to a practice, it’s really easy to get stuck on the same things day in and day out—a fancy meal, your dog’s zoomie dance, and, uh, that’s all there is, right?

When you start feeling like it’s groundhog’s day, I always suggest the same counter-intuitive fix: ask yourself what it would feel like to be grateful for even more basic, mundane things?

It sounds backwards, but it works because it widens your lens. Let’s say you get a good parking spot at the grocery store—BOOM gratitude. How about a stranger opens a door for you? There it is!

Usually we get stuck when we’re too focused on having to be grateful for something REALLY special. And maybe there are a handful of events you consider “high value” that occur on the daily, so you just show appreciation for those things over and over. The reality is: you’re allowed to be grateful for ANYTHING. Mud on your shoe that reminds you of a childhood moment. The way the sunlight hits a flower. The fact that you stopped to notice a flower at all.

Get creative and release yourself from the pressure of having to pick something “special.” Once you let go and start to open yourself to the beauty of the mundane, you’ll be surprised how special it will all become.

“DOES IT WORK IF I REPEAT GRATITUDES?”

Of course! Creativity is great, but if something is making you feel great time and time again, there’s no reason not to celebrate that.

“I HAD A BAD DAY. I’M NOT GRATEFUL FOR ANYTHING.”

Bad days are great opportunities to flex this muscle. My suggestion here would be to think about the opposite of what is troubling you. Hear me out: we all have bad days. We all get knocked down. But we also all have good days. If you’re having a particularly bad day, it’s worth simply acknowledging that good days have happened before, too. This will make you feel like it’s possible to have good days again in the future.

So let’s say you made a mistake at work and you’re feeling bad. Take a moment to think about a time when you did something really well at work. Having done something well in the past eases the blow of the mistake in the present, don’t you think? Maybe you can express gratitude to your past self for getting it right so often. If you’re really advanced, you might even try to dig for the lesson your bad day has to offer—and express a little gratitude for that.

And look—these are tips for accessing gratitude in the midst of struggle, but the reality is you have full and total permission to feel the weight of your feelings. Take a day off if you need it. Take four. …your future self might thank you for putting your feelings first. ;)

“I skipped a bunch of days. I should give up.”

Here’s a secret: I accidentally skip days all the time! I also don’t always write in gratitudes for events that happen ON THE DAY I write them in. There’s no reason to give up just because life got in the way for a while.

If you skip a week, try filling in each missed day with a word that sums up something you’re grateful for in general—it didn’t have to happen on the day in question. If you were away from your calendar due to travel, think of some things that happened on your trip that filled your cup.

Filling in blank spots on the calendar will help you feel motivated to keep going. If you’re a stickler to the rules and you want to keep them blank, that’s fine, too! Gaps in your practice doesn’t make your practice any less valid or valuable.

Every day counts.

“There’s Not Enough Space to write all my gratitudes”

I can commiserate. I love writing it allllll out. But unless you want me to design mural-sized calendars, a small window for each gratitude is what we get. The great thing about the practice is that it’s more about how you feel and less about what you write. It’s the FEELING that engages the nervous system to respond, which builds new neural pathways in the brain. So you don’t have to write a long paragraph to capture a moment.

You’ll be surprised how few words it takes to trigger the memory later on. Focus on a few key words to describe the “thing” and a few key words to describe “why” it elicits a feeling.

For example: if you are grateful because you treated yourself to ice cream after a long hiatus, you might write “first ice cream in ages.” Or if a coffee shop employee complimented you on your killer bangs, you might write, “barista liked my hair.” If a good samaritan saved you from accidentally stepping out into traffic, you might write, “renewed hope in strangers” or even, “life saved!” Whatever it takes for you to FEEL the moment, short-hand.

“can more than one person share a calendar?”

Absolutely! There are a few strategies to do this:

(1) trade days, taking turns writing in your gratitudes
(2) consolidate each of your gratitudes into one word to save space
(3) bonus idea is to assign a different color pen or pencil to each person.

“I’m struggling to stick to the practice”

It happens! The first step is to be easy on yourself. Habits take time to form and they are very easy to break.

My biggest tip here would be to hang the calendar somewhere you are going to see it or pass it often—even if it’s temporary. I have mine hanging on the door that leads to my shoe closet, which means I’m opening that door multiple times a day, which means I have multiple reminders every day to take a moment for gratitude.

My second tip would be to set an alarm on your phone for a time of day when you are usually home and able to dedicate 30 seconds or more to your gratitude practice.

My final tip is to tack your practice onto an already established habit, like brushing your teeth or making your bed. When you attach a wobbly habit to a really sticky one, it’s easier to solidify.

“when will i feel a shift?”

This is a tricky one because the truth is you might be undergoing a shift without even knowing it. For maximum impact, make sure that you are spending approximately 30 seconds feeling the weight of your gratitude for any given thing. Set a timer to help understand what 30 seconds really feels like. Envision the moment you’re grateful for and pay attention to your physical response. Stay with that feeling—explore it, let it grow. This is the fastest way to ground your nervous system and fire up new neural pathways in the brain.

Why are those neural pathways important? Because the longer you spend building them, the more likely it is that your brain will default to them in times of stress. This is when you’ll most notice the shift, if you’re paying attention.

It’s when something that used to stress you out doesn’t anymore. It’s also when you have the wherewithal to notice when you’re in the middle of a pattern of behavior that doesn’t serve you—and you actually decide to pause and redirect your energy. That’s the biggest win of all and THAT is the long-term value of building a mindfulness practice centered on gratitude.

“Can I get a list of sample gratitudes to spur on some ideas?”

I gotchu.

+ quality time with a spouse, partner, or friend
+ someone's birthday
+ you go somewhere fun
+ you get to sleep in
+ your dog behaves himself
+ you enjoy time outdoors
+ you are inspired by something
+ someone tells you they were thinking of you
+ a boss applauds you for your work
+ you stand up for yourself
+ you make a new friend
+ you do something that scares you
+ flowers are in bloom
+ you noticed the flowers at all
+ your partner makes you coffee
+ you feel productive
+ a favorite sport's team wins
+ you achieved a goal you set for yourself
+ you feel good for no particular reason!