Let's Get Vulnerable for a Sec:

Young Killian Heart of Happy

☝️ This is a picture that used to make me cringe. Today I hold onto it to remind myself how far I've come.

The girl in this photo was 9 years old and already hated herself.

I thought I was fat, I thought I was ugly, I thought my haircut made me look like a boy from the 15th century (ok that part actually makes me 😂). Point is I pretty much thought I was the worst. I was a sad girl. And when people would tell me I had "sad eyes," it only make it worse. I became an angry teen. And then, in an attempt to shake the negativity, I ran from the sadness. I hid these photos, I changed the name I went by, I did literally everything I could to disassociate myself from who I "was" to who I "wanted to be."

AND SURPRISE!!! It didn't work.

When I first uncovered his photo, nearly a decade ago, I actually cried - I was embarrassed by it, all the feelings of who I was trying to run from coming back to haunt me. I know—that's some heavy shit. But that's when I realized something needed to change.

So I went to work.

Today, I see this photo and it makes me all emotional for a totally different reason: because I want to crawl through the Polaroid to hug this little person and tell her how fucking beautiful and wonderful and brilliant and imaginative she is. I want to play her weird make-believe games and draw pictures of all the horses and dogs she wants to own hoard one day when she's all grown up. And I want to tell her she's enough. And that she'll always be okay because I'M here now. And I will always show up for her. ✨That's a lot. But that is the power that 'doing the work' can do.