Real Talk: Do I Feel Pressured To Be Happy All The Time?

Now that I’ve got this blog up and running, I have a lot of people asking me one very specific question: “Do you feel pressured to be happy all the time now? Because you write about it so much?” I’ve thought a lot about this. And the answer is…  “EFF no.”  I still have hard days. I still have to navigate life with the same unexpected twists and turns as everybody else. I still get frustrated when some ‘shmo cuts me off in traffic. I just know how to handle those moments better than I used to. I bounce back from them faster. But I allow myself to experience the hard stuff, because if I didn’t let myself process the sh*tstorm, I’d be supremely unhappy.There’s a myth out there that equates a happy person with someone who’s willing to be walked all over. You know who I’m talking about: the guy who always has a smile on his face, even if someone’s humiliating him to the point of (what should be) tears. We see this archetype all the time in the movies — and what happens? They always SNAP. Duh. Because they aren’t happy!! Just because some dude is smiling doesn’t mean he’s mastered happiness. So let’s get this in our heads: happiness is not synonymous with smiling all the time. It is about self-respect and self-empathy. You can be dealing with a lot of hard sh*t and still feel happy—because as I define happiness, it's the feeling you have when you are confident that you are able to meet your basic needs and you're optimistic that things will continue to get even better. 

Happiness is feeling like you're in control of your feelings, because you know what you need when things get tough—and when things are easy.

If you’re starting to feel happier, don’t put pressure on yourself to stay in that zone all the time! If something frustrates you, allow it to frustrate you — and then check in with yourself. BE CURIOUS! That’s what we’ve been talking about since day one. What about that frustrating incident really triggered you? Why? Allow yourself to be curious about yourself. Once you identify the trigger, you will feel an amazing sense of relief. And happiness will be at your doorstep once again. My point is: it’s okay to have feelings other than happiness. The key to overcoming them is to acknowledge and accept them and then find a way to feed your heart some happy.Be kind to yourself, kids. No pressure. Just love.