You Can't Pull It Off: Says Who?!

For some reason I've been hearing some variation of the phrase, "I wouldn't be able to pull that off" a LOT over the last few weeks. I'm not sure why, but it's got me thinking:

What, exactly, does "pulling something off" even mean? And why do so many people think they can't?

For the most part, you hear this kind of negative self-talk around all things fashion: from clothes to hair styles to a general "look." And I get it: not all cuts look the same on everyone. There are certainly styles that I prefer over others and lord knows there are a million articles of clothing out there that just don't look "right" on me—to me. But does it mean I CAN'T pull it off? Or does it mean I just DON'T WANT to wear the clothes that don't reflect what I value most about myself? More unsettling to me is when I hear this phrase surrounding someone's identity. Feeling like you can't pull off a certain lifestyle or identity is one way of saying, "I can't and won't be accepted as that kind of person." WHY? I have seen women of every shape, size, and personality "pull off" every style and personal identity I can name. Do you know what it all comes down to? CONFIDENCE. And are you really that surprised? Probably not. We've all heard it a million times: when you feel confident in yourself, that's the only thing that shows. And it's true. We all know it. So why are we still using such negative, insecure language when describing our style or identity? If a style or identity resonates with you, dive into it!

YOU GET TO DEFINE WHO YOU ARE from the inside out, not the other way around.

I'm not saying we shouldn't be selective about what we wear or how we identify ourselves, if that's what we want. I'm just saying let's stop using the self-deprecating form of, "I don't want to wear that." Stop suggesting to other people that you CAN'T pull something off when YOU CAN. You absolutely can. If I wanted to start wearing pinup 50s style dresses, because I suddenly see myself resonating with that style, I could! If you wanted to start wearing street fashion, but you're worried you don't have an 'edgy' enough identity to pull it off, YOU CAN!

You define who you are.

YOU CAN PULL ANYTHING OFF if you own it.

We forget that these common phrases we use—the ones we rarely think about, but just say out loud because they're so commonplace—are actually more more damaging than we realize. Every time you hear yourself use the words "I can't," you're subconsciously buying into it. It's time to stop that sh*t. It bums me out that women have all these mindless degrading phrases built into our vocabularies. Let's start paying attention to how we talk about ourselves, yeah? So maybe next time we catch ourselves using the phrase, "I can't pull that off," we step back and take a second to correct ourselves. Maybe instead we say, "That's not really my preference" or, "That's cool, but I'm not feeling it" or even, "I could rock that, but I LOVE how I rock (some other thing)."

AND MAYBE when we hear SOMEONE ELSE belittle themselves with that downer phrase, we can say, "actually, I think you can totally pull it off if you want to." Remind your friends who's in control of their identity. Show them how to own their positivity. ✨