5 New Year's Resolutions That Won't Make You Feel Like Shi**

It's that time of year again when it's socially acceptable to be insanely critical of ourselves in the hopes that it'll spark some kind of positive change. Let's take a second to look back on previous years to evaluate how that's worked for you.

Personally, I can hardly remember the years where I attempted to lose "x" amount of pounds or tried to "eat better" (a vague goal that's virtually impossible because after a few weeks you begin to justify all your unhealthy choices as 'healthier than last year'). I can't remember those years passed because most of my resolution attempts failed as quickly and swiftly as they came.

There are a couple of reasons why New Year's resolutions fail.

For one, you might be looking at it from the wrong angle. If you're being critical [read: judgemental] of yourself, you're destined to tire out quickly. Who wants to be constantly reminded of how much they suck? If you think knocking yourself down a peg is going to get you out of bed and into your running shoes every morning, you're sorely mistaken. You'll either get super critical of how poorly you're performing on the track, which will make you feel like a failure and possibly turn you off to exercise as a whole, or you'll just get tired of hearing yourself talk smack to yourself. "Get out of bed, you lazy sack" only works for so long before you start to resent that internal voice, decide to give it the finger, and go back to bed out of spite.

Another reason resolutions tend to fail is that they're far too vague. As I alluded to above, "eating better" can take on a myriad of definitions depending on the day. I've found that the best way to keep your resolutions strong is to keep them specific, simple, and positive. 365 days worth of baby steps can lead to big change, after all.

Here are 5 Resolution ideas that won't slowly kill your self-esteem:

One: Create a vision board (or list) to map out what you want to see next year.

Vision boards get a really weird rap. When I tell people I'm into vision boards, they usually laugh at me—and I'm okay with that. But it kind of blows my mind because they are so freaking simple and effective! Truth be told I don't go all out on cutting out magazine clippings and decoupaging it all together into some wild masterpiece. I mean I'm all for that, but it sounds like a project.

I just create a list.

I create a REALLY BIG list that I put on REALLY BIG paper to make it feel more important. I write in REALLY BIG letters to give it that extra 'umph', and by the time I've come up with all the things I want to see happen in the next year I start to feel pretty great. It's nice to see all your dreams on paper. It makes it all so much easier to swallow and it even makes them feel more achievable. I'm a strong believer that we manifest what we visualize for ourselves and I've found vision "lists" to be extremely effective.

For example, two years ago my #1 list item was to "sh*t diamonds." Yes, I have a weird fascination of expletives and yes, it seemed a bit far fetched. But I think it's important to be playful when we set our intentions, so I went there. Of course my fiance rolled his eyes at me at the time but GUESS WHAT HAPPENED that year? I switched jobs and increased my salary by 60%!! Also my fiance proposed—so I did literally get a diamond, which is pretty funny in hindsight. Needless to say, if there's one resolution I'd recommend, it's a vision list. Keep it somewhere that you can revisit from time to time throughout the year. Visualize how your life would look if all your wishes were achieved. Stick with it. You might be as amazed as I was two years ago.

Two: Look yourself in the mirror every morning and tell yourself you're worth it

Nobody is achieving anything on their vision list until you get this down. Would I have been able to "sh*t diamonds" if I didn't feel like I was worth the 60% salary increase? Hells no! I would have stuck out my underpaying gig because [insert any excuse here].

When you don't feel that you're worth it, you make up every excuse in the book NOT to complete your goals. Here's the fun part about this whole "looking yourself in the mirror" thing. It sounds cheesy. And screw it, it IS really cheesy. But it's pretty incredible because at first you're going to look yourself in the mirror and say something like, "You're worth it" or "You're worth a raise" or "You're worth better work/life balance" or "You're worth a healthy lifestyle" or whatever your goal may be and you're not going to believe it. THAT'S OKAY. You totally aren't going to believe it right away if you're not used to hearing or feeling it. But the magic about this practice is that eventually you will.

When you tell yourself enough times, you start to believe it. You know this already: I mean think about all of those stories you've read about people who lie so often they actually start to believe their lies. The brain is incredibly powerful. Tell it something enough, and it starts to invest in that belief. If you've been telling yourself you're unworthy your entire life, then you probably feel pretty unworthy. But it works both ways. Use that to your advantage.

Three: Write down one positive thing that happens to you each day

We love to focus on all the annoyances that we run into every day. It's human, and totally normal. (Something about how we learned to survive as a species). But it takes REAL SKILL to see the GOOD stuff that's happening in your life, especially when it feels incredibly few and far between. I personally think this is a challenging, but overtly rewarding 1 to 10 minute exercise. It's a heck of a lot easier than trying to find two hours each day to head to the gym. I like doing this at night, when the stress of the day is starting to wane. You might look back on the day and only remember that guy who cut you off in traffic, or your boss's critical remark about some email you sent, but if you look hard enough you might remember that person who held a door open for you when your hands were full, or the barista who complimented something about you as you were buying your morning coffee. Eventually, detecting the positives will get easier, and they might even carry more weight when you give yourself the time to reflect on how good those moments feel as they happen.

Four: Start a friendly conversation with a stranger once a week

This is specifically "once per week" because I don't think you need to put pressure on yourself to do this every day. The idea behind this resolution is to spark a moment of positivity for someone else—which, in turn, could turn out to be a pretty positive experience for yourself, as well. It could be as simple as switching up a casual greeting to a passerby from "hi, how ya doin'?" to "hi, having a good day so far?" to break them away from an auto-pilot response ("great, thanks") to something that requires just a little bit more thought ("uh, actually, yeah, I guess it has been a pretty good day"). Or it could be something a bit more involved, like approaching someone whose jacket you've been admiring from afar that you think they have good taste. The response you get might always be the response you're looking for, but taking the time to step ever-so-slightly out of your comfort zone in an attempt to connect to people can only bring you a stronger sense of connectedness (and self-confidence) in the long-run.

Five: Treat yourself with the littlest surprises

A little over a year ago I decided to play a little mind-game with myself. I was having a weird day and feeling really disheveled looking. I was getting some last-minute gift shopping done on a really 'bougie' street in LA and was starting to compare myself to all the beautifully adorned people around me. I was heading down a negative path, so I said to myself, "Okay, next time I see my reflection, I'm going to be surprised by how beautiful I look." Guess what happened? Next time I passed a window or mirror or whatever it was, I was legitimately surprised by how beautiful I looked.  It wasn't nearly as bad as I had expected to feel just moments before playing that game with myself. Yeah, my hair needed to be washed and my shirt was a bit stretched out, but I was kind of making it work. Uh, no, actually—I was killing it. This resolution is slightly more vague than the rest, but if you choose to adhere to a time commitment (once per month / once per week, etc) and even put it on your calendar, you'll be able to knock it out pretty easily. You can play positivity mind-games with yourself like I did, or you can set aside time to really show yourself how much you appreciate you. Decide to make time to get your nails done bi-weekly or get that monthly massage you know you deserve.

Treating yourself to healthy activities that pamper your body (and your mind) will lead to a stronger sense of self-worth, which might actually motivate you to live a healthier lifestyle—not because you feel ugly or fat or like you need a kick in the pants, but because you feel you deserve it.