Courage: The Missing Piece
Courage
On this blog, I've spent a lot of time writing about various ways to promote happiness in our lives. I talk about the fact that happiness is a practice. I talk about how the brain is physically programmed to focus on negativity, and how we can actually change that over time. I have an entire bootcamp dedicated to breaking down self-awareness and compassion because in all of my research on the subject, and in all of my personal experience, those two components have been the most critical to accessing long-term joy. But I've long-since felt something was missing. A lot of what I've written has resonated with people who are already looking for ways to enjoy their lives more deeply. But there are a whole mess of other people out there who hear the phrase "self-development" and mentally check out. I see it instantly—especially when people ask me what I'm up to and I start talking about this blog. Their eyes glaze over. It's like their brains are screaming "ABORT! ABORT!" before I even get a chance to finish my sentence. I used to think it was because I was painfully bad at describing what I was doing. (I'm not ruling that out.) But no matter how I tried to spin the pitch, I was seeing a pattern. The minute I named an emotion—the second I uttered the word, "happiness"—they were gone. It's actually maybe the coolest magic trick I've ever learned. On the one hand it's hard because it's such an instant rejection of everything I hold dear. On the other, it's life. I can't expect everyone to like what I do and it's not like I'm a stranger to being interested in stuff that other people think is lame. And, hey, maybe these people already have it figured out. (Though, if they do—throw a girl a bone, ya know?). Or maybe they just don't care. That's fine.
But is it fine!?
I can't help but find it ironic because isn't everything we do in our lives for the pursuit of happiness? Job, car, house, clothes, vacations, families, stuff, more stuff, even more stuff? Could someone really just not care? I'm not here to hate on the folks who aren't interested in finding joy, or bettering themselves, or anything like that. We've all got our paths. But these interactions always make me think, "what is going on here?" The people who show the most discomfort talking about something as simple as what makes them happy are the people I think about most when I write. Their apathy has literally kept me up at night. I'd ask myself over and over, "what lights the spark for people who are interested in examining their lives a little deeper? How do I strike that match?" And then I realized I was asking the wrong question. There are a million triggers that lead people toward seeking joy. The problem isn't that people don't want to be happy—it's that they don't want to deal with the only obstacle in their way: themselves. You can lead a horse to water. You can't make him drink. You ESPECIALLY can't make him drink when that water is a big ol' mirror showcasing all his flaws, his baggage, and his fears. I can't force happiness down people's throats because happiness takes courage.
I've never really talked about courage.
It's the missing piece! How could I have been so blind? From the moment I connected those dots, just weeks before 2016 came to an end, I made a promise to myself that I'd explore the subject in FULL FORCE in 2017. Over the next few days I'll be posting some thoughts about courage. I'm going to talk about how to define the kind of courage it takes to look inward. I'm going to talk about how to conceptualize your baggage in a way that encourages you to confront it a bit easier. And I'm going to give a few examples of times I've had to call on courage, even when I didn't want to. You can check back here, or follow me on Instagram or Facebook for live updates when I post. Or sign up for my newsletter for a round-up after the fact. Until then! ✨